Hmmm
February 25, 2001 by Sadie in Sadie & Greg
Hmmm.. another snowy sunday spend working on psychology and thinking about sweet rainy eugene. The strains of communal living will hopefully subside in the next week, with a little help from the administrative powers that be. I've decided that the only way to master statistics is to rip it to its most basic level and methodically reconstruct every dull therorem. Megan is reading Hamlet, which reminded me of my own experience with the play. Somehow I was so passionate about my personal and academic life that they intermingled to create a monsterous, all-consuming lifestyle of poetric turmoil. I think I need that cathartic angst to really get into probability.
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Well, I guess dying of cancer means there...
February 10, 2001 by Sadie in Sadie & Greg
Well, I guess dying of cancer means there's an end called death when that person can't be there next year,
but I wasn't ready yet.
I wanted another two weeks to get some room in my head cleaned out, so I could label it "grieving" and have someplace to go when I needed to. That's not the way it works, though, so I feel sort of discombobulated, like there's this mathematical concept I can't get my mind around. I sent another letter to Dorthy and Franklin two days ago, priority mail, but I don't know if it got there in time. I should have sent it express. I don't know if I'm too tired to cry or if I've been pushing it back because of all of the other things I've been pushing back, and now there's a block so I just feel numb and perplexed. I want to be with everyone who ever loved him, I want to sing his praises and wail out loud. I want to sit quietly and smile at the commings and goings of life, as I saw Franklin doing in my childhood. Mostly I want my life to be something he might smile for, and for the warmth of his smile to be reflected in the lives of his children and grand children and great grandchildren.
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