House Warming, Dress Shopping, Rochester

September 27, 2010 by Sadie in Sadie & Greg

This weekend Greg and I travelled to Boston for two house warming parties, and took the opportunity to try on a few dresses. Somehow, despite the endless coordination and communication about the wedding, I still went weak when I slipped on the first a-line gown. Stepping (literally) into this ritual costume was much more powerful than I anticipated. Because getting married is a deeply normative and historically oppressive act, sequined by two hundred years of commercialization (as they say, blood diamonds are forever), I thought I'd feel gross about wearing its primary symbol.

But I felt connected. I feel connected to Greg's grandmother when I look at my (and her) engagement ring, and I feel connected to generations of women who were brave enough to choose the person they loved. Especially now, and especially in Massachusetts. Unlike all of the wedding blogs that ensure me that it will be my special, individual day, trying on a white dress was humbling and diminishing. That's what rituals do- subsume personal identity into a collective culture. 

The question for every feminist couple is, how do you situate all the wedding rituals so you're embraced by an open, just, healthy community to help carry you both through the incredibly hard task of staying married? And how do you balance breaking the rituals necessary to create that just culture without diving headlong into the hyper-commercialized individualization of weddings (the wedding industrial complex, as it's called)? Etsy-made hairpieces and hand letter pressed invitations harken to a time when labor was local, but spending thousands on either brings us into that hyper-commercialized space again. 

Many, many men and women that I've talked to bowed to pressure from parents and spent lots of money. It's hard not to- everyone expects a sit down meal and save the date cards. And in this economy, why not invest a little in local services? Even if dresses are made in the Philippines, no one can outsource photographers. But as the center of this preposterous universe, the wedding industrial complex has given me (the very special bride) the power to say no. This can be a false empowerment (no ERA for my soon-to-be married ass), but I have some strategic rights that I look forward to leveraging. And when I finally slip on the handmade dress that Seraph stitches for me, I hope we'll all feel part of a just and locally made labor of love. 

But enough thoughts on the wedding process. I'm off to Rochester to see Lohring, his fiance Ana, Danica, and Ben!

New Job

September 25, 2010 by Sadie in Sadie & Greg

I just accepted an offer at a local college as an operations manager with their experiential education department. It's an easy commute, and we live smack in between Greg's school and my new position. I'm so releived that I can live with Greg, contra dance on the weekends, and finally afford my addiction to Bueno e Sano burritos. After four months of intense searching, I'm excited to roll up my sleeves for more than cover letters.

Jenny is awesome.

September 19, 2010 by Sadie in Sadie & Greg

I talked to Jenny this afternoon, who just lost her job and is taking a well-deserved breath before making the next step. Every time we talk, I'm reminded by Jennifer's incredible work ethic and expert knowledge in her field. Jenny is such a competent professional, I have total confidence that she'll find a new opportunity as soon as she's ready. And in the meantime, it sounds like there is a fourth and ninth grader who will get a little more time with their mom! Jordan sounds like he's doing amazing, and Destin is currently a smart (yet wildly popular) football star. All that moving from middle school to middle school is clearly working to his advantage now, because Destin knows hundreds of students from the entire district. Jordan is as kind-hearted as ever, giving Jenny lots of love during this transition. 

All is well in the Pioneer Valley. We went back to Grafton last night to play a marathon four hours of Cosmic Encounter with our old neighbors. Now that's my idea of the perfect Saturday night.

Dancin' and Pukin'

September 12, 2010 by Sadie in Sadie & Greg

As you know, Greg and I are fans of clean country living, so I generally don't go out dancing, or at least not in situations that end in vomit. But on Friday night we went to the Greenfield contra dance. Suffering from a dearth of females (Smith and Mount Holyoke just started, so the carpools of small pixie headed ladies have not yet made their way up I-91), I was spun around by so many enthusiastic 60 year old men that I couldn't see straight at the end of the night. We had a great time, but we were both a bit dehydrated the next day, and I got one of those brain crushing headaches and threw up a bunch. Fortunately, I was able to drag on a pair of pants and we got to the Carolina Chocolate Drops show at seven, possibly my favorite concert ever. 

Visiting Greenfield and the Iron Horse in one weekend reminded me of the awesomeness of this area, and I'm going to go to the Sacred Harp singing on Tuesday, something I really wanted to do in college but lost access to when I moved to Williamstown. 

Greg's classes are great so far, and his professors seem genuinely passionate about teaching. But even with four math classes, he's already buckling down with reading.

There will be days like this

September 08, 2010 by Sadie in Sadie & Greg

Just one more engagement photo, which just about perfectly captures our personalities- my cool disregard matched by Greg's kooky grin and excited embrace.

For the last three days, I've woken myself up in the middle of the night from wedding nightmares. Last night, mom remodeled her house with a three story pink mica water feature in the living room, and a classmate from high school was having her wedding photos taken on a sparkly rock outcropping. The basement, on the other hand, was remodeled into a freaky haunted house. The night before that, I was forced to go through pictures of table card style after table card style, ala Clockwork Orange. Being engaged is awesome. But it's also terrifying and infinitely stressful to plan a wedding, because all the collective expectations can so quickly become an avalanche of Martha Stewart terror-fantasies. 

I've started working with a graphic designer and am beginning self-guided meditation. Both seem like good first steps on the road to recovery from early onset wedding anxiety. 

Broken computer, broken internets

September 02, 2010 by Sadie in Sadie & Greg

This is the first day in two weeks where both my computer and the internet have been functional. During my computer-free time, I made another dress, which I wore for our engagement photos. Sleeves and pockets are two oft-forgotten features in ready-to-wear dresses that I'm really crazy about.

I want to thank all of the wonderful, wonderful people who have sent cards, emails, and called to congratulate us. It is so much fun to be engaged to Greg. I mixed our books together yesterday- what a thrill to have my Lies My Teacher Told Me next to his Sundown Towns!

At this point, we're planning a mid-August wedding on a family farm in Maine. There are many more details to iron out, and we're taking advantage of the last week of our mutual vacation before Greg starts school on Tuesday. He's taking three math classes, a computer science class, and an honors political science class his first semester!