Adam Miller and Family

Moving Day

January 31, 2010 by Sue in Wielesek

I thought yesterday was very difficult, and Seraph, Sadie and Jenny, your brother behaved like a champ. Just remember Aunt Barney's saying, "Be pretty if you can, be witty if you must, but be nice if it kills you." Though there were a few times I thought it was a near-death experience for him! There were moving people who made it really better than it could have been - Sam's bud Sophia was there, who is a hoot, her big brother Matthew, the two little kids Matt babysits, and Sophia and Matt's dad and a friend of his, the dad of the two little kids, Angie, who I dearly love, Kirsten and Dave, and Victoria, who I don't know very well but who seems really nice, and of course, our stalwart Yayoe (I want to see major storm window help from you kids for Yayoe when she's old ). On the other hand, it seemed a bit thoughtless for Jamie to have both Pat - though he did bring a pickup - and Michaelann -though she kept a low profile -as part of the moving crew.

I know that Adam is supposed to be modern, but I want you kids to remember that while we all get along now, I don't think Lohring and Dick were in the same room from 1985 to 1999, so give Adam a little time. And curse you, Aunt Barney.

It was much easier over at Jamie's new house, where Jamie and Michaelann could relax a bit. There was good food and it was fun to catch up with Angie's news. I want more pictures of Winnie! Emma and I headed back around two, fat and full.

Moving Day

January 31, 2010 by Adam in Family

Jamie has moved into her new house, which was as surreal and strange an experience as you'd think. Emma woke me up with a dream that someone had killed Sam, she then killed that person, and then Sam came back to life and gave her hugs and kisses. After getting up, I made crepes for the kids and then people began descending upon the house.

The move itself was handled by other people, while I kept an eye on the kids and cleaned after things were moved. Within a couple hours, the house seemed very empty. Emma went to Jamie's house for food, while Sam stayed in the basement and played on the computer. As for me, I frantically cleaned, vacuuming and mopping and scrubbing paint marks off the floor. After awhile, things seemed more under control and the rooms were mostly functional. The only exception is the living room, which seems incredibly empty.

My mom brought Emma back and the two of us went over to the U of O where they had a dance marathon to raise money for the Children's Miracle Network. Joanna was there taking pictures for her job. They had a huge family room with tons of toys and games. Sam and I played Rock Band, and Emma was adopted by a big group of young college women. At one point, she impressively twirled three hula hoops. The dance itself was really loud, so we only went in for a few minutes.

Afterward, we went to Market of Choice to pick up pizza. I then hooked up the netbook to the big t.v. and we watched Mythbusters. The pizza was eaten on the air mattress, which I hyperventelated while filling up. Emma went to bed without any problems. Sam and I played zombie fighting games with Josh. Now I'm tuckered out.

Tomorrow looks to be a busy day, with breakfast, church, couch shopping, and dinner at my mom's house. All good stuff, though.

New and Improved

January 29, 2010 by Adam in Adam's Projects

I switched from DSL to Comcast last night. On the plus side, it's insanely fast in comparison to the old version. Sam was in awe of the speed at which videos played, and the overall cost should be less than what I was paying before. It's a little tricky to continue to host my web site, but hopefully it's mostly working now. There's a delay in pointing familyofadam.com to the right address, but hopefully most of the world will know where I am by the end of the day.

I have other assorted computer plans, from moving computers around to hooking a computer up to the living room TV. It would be cool if we could watch Mythbusters from the living room and not the cramped couch on the basement.

Mocha Friday

January 29, 2010 by Adam in Family

I just finished my last gulp of cafe mocha, the taste of that delicious elixir still lingering on my tongue. When change is rampant, it's reassuring to have the constant of Mocha Friday.

Emma got 92% on her spelling test last week. Everyone worked really hard to help make it happen. The kids have both been doing very well in school despite the changes at home. It speaks well of Jamie and I getting along and keeping the focus on the kids.

I think the last of the contentious issues are getting sorted out between Jamie and myself. I came to the conclusion that I wanted to finalize the transitional spousal support issues and get something written down that we can both depend on, going with the numbers we talked about months ago. My timing wasn't great, as Jamie's in the middle of her move, but she said she'd get back to me afterward. My guess is that they'll be a little different, but Jamie's been relatively reasonable so I suspect we'll come to some settlement. I'd like to get that finalized so everyone can plan their futures accordingly.

The big move is tomorrow, which is surreal to contemplate. I'm shopping for furniture tonight, hoping to replace some of the critical missing items. My work schedule will shift from 8 to 5. Dinner, laundry, cleaning, and all the ordinary things will be solely my responsibility. The reality of single parenthood is certainly sinking in. The kids seem fine about everything, more than I am, though I'm not sure they completely understand all the implications of two households. I'm sure we'll sort it out in time.

Sam's loving his new laptop. He was up late chatting with Josh and improving his typing skills, watching videos over the new high-speed connection, and playing Left 4 Dead with Josh and laughing hysterically. Saturday night we're planning a three person game after Emma goes to bed, which sounds really fun.

Life's good.

Ida B

January 29, 2010 by Adam in Emma

Emma is reading Ida B, a book picked from her school library. It's a chapter book, which she's doing amazingly well with. Here's Emma's description of the book:

It's about a girl that makes new inventions and possibly saves the world. She's going to kindergarden.

Needless to say, I think it's very cool that she's gotten into reading so much.

A wonderful week

January 28, 2010 by Sue in Wielesek

What a great vacation we had! We were able to fly in and out of Santa Fe, only an hour from Sipapu, the ski resort. Our last trip was so quick that we didn't really have time to appreciate how spectacular northern New Mexico is; snow covered mountains and rolling foothills. The ski resort is also very picturesque;

and Seraph and Robbie's house is as well, with thick adobe walls and a huge stone fireplace. The resort staff makes up a cozy family, with the only disadvantage being that there aren't kids close by for Isa to play with. We had lots of snow, so much that Isa's school was closed on Friday and her birthday sleepover postponed for a week.

We went into Taos for a Robert Burns celebration/art opening on Saturday night.

Those guys are more pretentious than we in Eugene can ever hope to be! There was Scottish dancing, and Isa headed off to take part, totally composed, surrounded by wealthy sophisticates in careful Scottish attire. What amazing grandkids I have!

On Sunday, we drove to Las Vegas, a small city where No Country for Old Men was partly filmed. It was a stop on the Santa Fe trail, and has been renovated almost completely. Nine hundred buildings in the town are on the Historic Register.

I gotta go, Aric has come by and we're heading off to Chapala.

Fancy Dinner

January 27, 2010 by Adam in Family

The kids and I went out to dinner with my work crew at Beppe & Gianni's. Emma insisted that I dress up in a tie and stuffed a gold pen in my pocket. My out-of-town coworker Summer is enamored with Emma, and the two of them had a great time hanging out together. My boss Glen gave us three rockets, cleaning out his attic. One was seven feet tall and is currently propped up in Sam's room. I think it was an offer I couldn't refuse.

Emma went down quick last night, her belly full of spaghetti and salmon that Summer kept feeding her. We got home so late that I put her in the shower and then straight to bed.

The dishwasher continues to be broken. I did all the dishes by hand last night, which wasn't too bad except for my overall lack of time. By the time I got downstairs to check on Sam, he'd made his lunch, watched Battlestar Galactica while stair stepping, and asked if he could watch another. Since it was getting late, I nixed that idea and he played online games with Josh for a few minutes before he was off to bed. By the time I went upstairs to turn in myself, he was reading a National Geographic.

Life feels very busy, and I occasionally stress about finances. Last night I dreamed that Sadie leaned forward and said, "Adam, you have a lot of money." Somehow it reassures me even now.

Four Days

January 26, 2010 by Adam in Adam

I keep contemplating the fact that Jamie will be moving in four days. We've been transitioning for awhile now, with Jamie out most nights and here in the morning only to get the kids ready for school. Next Monday that'll be my job and I'll be working later to compensate, picking up the kids at Jamie's house and taking them home. Maybe I can work an extra half hour in the morning from home, as the evenings already feel frantically busy.

Last night I was working on the dishwasher after putting Emma to sleep. I would have much rather settled down for the night and had a bowl of cereal, but the dishwasher wasn't going to fix itself and it was better to do it then than try to schedule someone to fix it. It felt like a preview of single parenthood to come, the reality that I needed to rely on myself and just take care of things.

I've been feeling for Joanna, as the father of her kids packed up his belongings and headed for New York last weekend. I think the weight of single parenthood is hitting her hard, having recently moved to Eugene and only having her mom around to help with the day-to-day problems of life. It makes me appreciate Jamie, and her willingness to be reasonable and stay involved in the kids' lives.

Fortunately life isn't entirely bleak hardship. I worked with the Comcast folks to get Internet access turned on and Sam was amazed at how fast everything was. "How did you do that?" he asked when I showed him some YouTube videos. I'll be rewiring my network soon, hopefully finding a way to keep this site up and running after switching from DSL.

The kids are doing surprisingly well. Emma got an award for being good in class. Sam is ahead with his homework and loving his new laptop. Last night he and Josh were chatting and playing online games. I've been encouraging it, as it's improving his typing skills considerably. Emma helped me cook yaki soba, tofu, and snap peas. She did a great job and is learning to be careful with knives and hot things.

Tonight the kids and I are going out to dinner, courtesy of my work. Hopefully my fiddling with the dishwasher did the trick. I have endless lists of projects, and am trying to accomplish a few each day. Hopefully I can call up the irrigation guy and get something set up soon. I'm itching to start my garden.

Isolation

January 24, 2010 by Sue in Wielesek

No wonder we never hear from Seraph. They have no cell phone reception at the resort, and no internet except in the bar at the lodge. They have had 25 inches of snow since we got here. And Seraph works about ten hours a day. Other than that, it is beautiful here! Back tomorrow night! Love, Mom

Yurt Adventures

January 24, 2010 by Adam in Family

Joanna and I are back from the coast, having a great time in the yurt. It was surprisingly roomy, with power and heat and light. I really want to take the kids over sometime, as they'd have a good time semi-roughing it. I finally used the tiny gast stove my mom gave me one Christmas. It screwed on to a tiny propane tank and I was able to heat up soup and make huge volumes of tea.

We walked the dunes this morning and made it to the folk festival. We weren't able to stay too long, but the music was pretty good. There's something able fiddles and banjos that make me inherently happy.

I came back into town this afternoon, finally getting a chance to see Jamie's new house. I hope the kids like their new rooms and get settled down. The move date is next Saturday, so my house should be much emptier fairly soon. I feel the urge to buy couches and shelves coming on.

Emma's in the bath, singing silly songs about daddo. I best get her tucked in and off to sleep.

Mocha Beach Friday

January 22, 2010 by Adam in Family

I got the kids off to school and I'm waiting for Joanna to arrive so we can make soup, pack up, and head to Florence. A day away from the craziness of ordinary life sounds blissful.

Sam continues to stoically deal with his contacts. The last two mornings he's gotten one ine, but relied on me to put in the other. Fortunately getting them out has gotten easier after I showed him the technique I use.

Jamie and I divided up our finances yesterday, spending over an hour with a very nice person at our bank. It feels good to be able to spend money again. Soon I'll need to buy furniture and such to replace everything that's missing.

Emma proudly showed me how she can make oatmeal last night. I'm hoping to recruit the kids into assisting with breakfast.

Crest Drive Musical

January 21, 2010 by Adam in Emma

Emma put on her Safety Kids musical last night, entertaining the massed parents with songs about avoiding child predators and the like. As long as I didn't think too much about the lyrics it seemed quite cheery. Since she was nervous about getting up in front of people, I was proud of her for showing up and singing with the rest of the class. She's gotten much better in recent years.

Contacts

January 21, 2010 by Adam in Sam

Sam got contacts today. For a week he's been doing his homework, touching his eye ten times, twice a day. I rushed home from work and took him and Emma to see Dr. Arbow. Emma sat on my lap as we watched pictures being taken of Sam's eye and get contacts popped in for testing.

He was pretty excited and seemed to really like it. The tricky part was yet to come, actually taking out and putting them back in himself. I think it took nearly an hour and a half, considerbly suffering on Sam's part, and assorted helpful advice from the doctor. Still, he was cleared to wear them home.

It became exciting once again when it took him a half hour to take them out. The main problem is that his lids and eyeballs seem to have a life of their own. I eventually got him to look forward while pinching his eyeballs and he could reliably remove them.

He's excited to put them in tomorrow and show off to his friends. I'm proud of that boy.

Safety Kids

January 20, 2010 by Adam in Family

The week's halfway over. My tattoo is scabbing up and I'm eager to see what lies beneath. It's interesting having such a visible mark on my body. Sam declared it "awesome" at the dinner table the other night, so at least I have that vote towards coolness.

Sam continues to love his new laptop, asking to come downstairs to say goodnight to it. He's been playing online games with his friend Chase and working on his typing skills to chat. I think I finally found the right motivation to improve his keyboarding.

Emma's Safety Kids musical is tonight at her school. She's a little nervous about performing, so we'll see how it goes. She did pretty well at her Winter Festival.

The boxes in the living room continue to multiply and theoretically Jamie's getting the key to the new house this week. Over the weekend we divided up the kitchen without too much trouble. I opted for the big, practical things over the fancy, and generally have the functionality to cook meals. I will miss that blender, though.

Jamie and I continue to generally be amicable. There are a few undecided things we're having problems with, and I'm not quite sure how we'll sort it out. There's also the uncertainty about jobs and after school care for the kids. For the most part, I've appreciated that Jamie's been reasonable and things have gone smoothly. The short-term plan seems to be that Jamie will move in the next couple weeks and start up our temporary child visitation once she gets settled.

I continue to worry about the kids. Last night Emma had a dream that she saved Jamie from a burning building and had to teach her how to talk again. Sam's been pretty quiet. I think they've gotten used to this odd new household arrangement and it's about to be disrupted again. We'll figure it out.

Lohring's Visit to Rochester

January 18, 2010 by Danica in Danica Miller

It's been great having Lohring here this weekend. Just like I did with Sadie, I co-opted him to help me setting up my new studio. Just like Sadie, he was a HUGE help!! Photo: Lohring reaching for one thing or another – lulu paste (old family recipe to be posted later) or drill site on the studio wall.

Fun Day!

January 17, 2010 by Sue in Wielesek

What a fun day yesterday! I went to Brails with Adam, Emma and Sam, then to Brushfire with Emma. Then for a quick lunch with Jenny. On Friday, Richard and I went to Jerry's. He was in hog heaven buying building supplies, while I was in hog heaven helping Jerry's dump their Christmas stuff for 10 cents an item, including a $399 black artificial tree for Dez, two $99 tree storage bags, two "glittered deer" at $129 each, and numerous lights, etc. About $1,000 retail for $10.00. Then on Saturday, a Hiron's run and a Ben Franklin crafts run. Nirvana!

Tattoo

January 16, 2010 by Adam in Adam

After work last night, I scrambled to put together meals for everyone. Sam, Josh, and Joanna all appeared at 5:30, so I was frantically putting food on the table and getting ready to go. Getting to the tattoo parlor was almost relaxing in comparison, though Emma entertained us all with her witty dinner conversation.

We went to High Priestess, which is the top tattoo parlor in town. There's still that certain vibe you get in such a place, and the man behind the counter was entirely covered in tattoos and piercings. Everyone was quite friendly, with the only snafu of the evening being that the artist who did Sadie had lost the artwork. Fortunately I'd printed out a picture of Sadie's tattoo moments before leaving, so I could give that to him.

The tattoo itself hurt, but not incredibly so. It also went a lot faster than I thought it might. The kids were fascinated, especially Emma, who kept wanting to talk about it when we got home.

As for me, I'm happy with the way it turned out. After temporary tattoos for months, it's nice to have a real thing on my wrist.

Oh, and the money I used to pay the tattoo artist was from dad's Christmas money. Thanks, dad!

Last Unmarked Mocha Friday

January 15, 2010 by Adam in Family

I had a great time with the kids last night. I'm slowly getting the hang of the single parent thing. I had my checklist that I went through, paying bills, making dinner, and baking some gluten-free pumpkin bread for Joanna. Emma seemed unprepared for her spelling test today, so I recruited Sam to assist. He developed an elaborate song-and-dance routine to help with memorization and by the end of bathtime she had them down. Sam's nearly caught up with Lost, which I make him do stair-stepping while he watches. Maybe I'll get him hooked on Battlestar Galactica next.

This morning my kids made me show off my wrist so they could take a mental picture of it tattoo-free. Sam was excited about today, as they're playing with their casino projects at school, he plays with Zack this afternoon, and tonight Josh comes over to babysit. When I was getting in my car, I heard a tapping noise and looked up to see him cheerfully waving good-bye.

Tonight Joanna's coming over for soup and then we're heading off to get tattoos. She's promised to take videos of me crying like a little baby, which I'll try to post for everyone's enjoyment shortly.

I'm not sure what we're up to this weekend. Jamie won't be back until late Saturday night, so I'll be doing breakfast and planning the day. I'm thinking a trip to the computer recycling store is in order. I want a cheap computer case that Emma can decorate and take a computer to Jamie's house. Sam needs a mouse for his laptop. I have a closet full of old computer hardware that I'd like to get rid of. Seems like a good plan.

Sadie's Gone, Week's Half Over

January 14, 2010 by Adam in Family

The week's half over, Emma's in bed, Sam's nearly caught up on five seasons of Lost, and I'm feeling a little tuckered out. Life as a single parent can be tiring, and there seemed to be food to cook, laundry to fold, or bills to pay around every corner.

I miss Sadie. We had such a good time when she and Greg were over.

Alienware

January 13, 2010 by Adam in Adam's Projects

I bought Sam a new laptop so that he could move between houses and still feel like all his technology and gaming needs were being met. I splurged a little, getting a high-end Alienware computer that's likely faster than my main computer. It has a webcam, so we can Skype. It also has a massive screen and keyboard, making it weigh a ton. The laptop is very much a "boy" laptop, with glowing blue vents, flashing Alien symbols, and theoretically the keyboard lights up in cool ways.

At the moment, I'm installing Windows 7 and all the associated drivers and software. Sam's priority was to get his new game installed along with Firefox. That's my boy.

Farewell, Sadie and Greg

January 12, 2010 by Sue in Wielesek

After a delay, they arrived in SF, and were able to rebook a flight arriving in Mass. about two hours later than planned.

I can't believe it's January 12th and I have the heat turned off and all the windows open.

Goin' Hog Nuts

January 11, 2010 by Sue in Wielesek

I know everyone will soon get tired of my glee with being able to post pictures, but I have some catching up to do. This is from our trip to NM last spring. That's Isa's pup Shiloh.

So I'm Dating Joanna . . .

January 10, 2010 by Adam in Adam

I'm working on getting out the big reveals today, those funny little things that I haven't told people publically yet. I'm not very good with secrets and I live my life pretty openly, as people with blogs often do. Last night after Avatar I was texting a note to Joanna when my mom and Sam sat down next to me. My mom made a comment to Sam about how cute it was I had a girlfriend, to which I replied "Uh, I haven't actually told him yet."

Fortunately everything seems to be working out for the best. Sam and I had a good chat last night and he took the opportunity to make fun of me, so I think we're okay. Jamie's known for a few weeks, but I had another check in with her last night. Her preference is to not tell Emma for awhile, which I can understand. Sam suggested I call Joanna my "friend", complete with the finger quotes and funny emphasis. It's hard not to see the humor in the situation.

As for me, I find myself surprisingly happy. Joanna and I have been friends for some time, meeting in the gym after my marriage fell apart and I was blabbing away to everyone. She's in the process of getting divorced as well, so we talked about that and discovered we had a lot in common beyond our situations. She was my swing dance partner for a month, and eventually we decided to move beyond friendship.

I'm usually asked about Joanna and her life at this point, so here's the quick synopsis. She's originaly from England, moving away when she was ten to Barbados, and Florida at fourteen. A writer by trade, Joann works for the Foundation in my building. She lives with her mom, who's French, a four year-old son named Duncan, and a two year-old daughter named Berry. Like me, her spouse still lives with her, leading to all manner of zany hijinks. We have a pool going to see which of our spouses will move out first.

I realize that our lives are complicated, and we're in the middle of major transitions. We've been seeing a counselor to make sure we're doing healthy things and being mindful of the people around us. I also know this isn't a rebound relationship or anything frivilous, so it feels good to talk about her openly. I'd like people to get used to Joanna's presence in my life.

The only other big reveal is that I've started going to church on Sundays. It's the Unity church, which is low-key and uplifting. It's odd in some ways, being a scientist at heart and going to a place that talks about God. Fortunately I like the particular style of this church, which is somewhat non-traditional and is more towards the philosophical end of spirituality. It's a good place to think about big issues. Sometimes I substitute "the universe" in my head when they talk about God, which works pretty well for me. I assured Sam he didn't have to go, though he did have some questions for me that I need to get back to some day. I should ask Dave his thoughts on going to church as well, as it seems a similar situation in some regards.

Speaking of which, I better clean the kitchen and head off to church. So much for doing some food shopping while Jamie has the kids this morning.

Since Joanna is a blogger and self-proclaimed "geeky nature girl", you can read more about her on her site.