Four Days

January 26, 2010 by Adam in Adam

I keep contemplating the fact that Jamie will be moving in four days. We've been transitioning for awhile now, with Jamie out most nights and here in the morning only to get the kids ready for school. Next Monday that'll be my job and I'll be working later to compensate, picking up the kids at Jamie's house and taking them home. Maybe I can work an extra half hour in the morning from home, as the evenings already feel frantically busy.

Last night I was working on the dishwasher after putting Emma to sleep. I would have much rather settled down for the night and had a bowl of cereal, but the dishwasher wasn't going to fix itself and it was better to do it then than try to schedule someone to fix it. It felt like a preview of single parenthood to come, the reality that I needed to rely on myself and just take care of things.

I've been feeling for Joanna, as the father of her kids packed up his belongings and headed for New York last weekend. I think the weight of single parenthood is hitting her hard, having recently moved to Eugene and only having her mom around to help with the day-to-day problems of life. It makes me appreciate Jamie, and her willingness to be reasonable and stay involved in the kids' lives.

Fortunately life isn't entirely bleak hardship. I worked with the Comcast folks to get Internet access turned on and Sam was amazed at how fast everything was. "How did you do that?" he asked when I showed him some YouTube videos. I'll be rewiring my network soon, hopefully finding a way to keep this site up and running after switching from DSL.

The kids are doing surprisingly well. Emma got an award for being good in class. Sam is ahead with his homework and loving his new laptop. Last night he and Josh were chatting and playing online games. I've been encouraging it, as it's improving his typing skills considerably. Emma helped me cook yaki soba, tofu, and snap peas. She did a great job and is learning to be careful with knives and hot things.

Tonight the kids and I are going out to dinner, courtesy of my work. Hopefully my fiddling with the dishwasher did the trick. I have endless lists of projects, and am trying to accomplish a few each day. Hopefully I can call up the irrigation guy and get something set up soon. I'm itching to start my garden.

Tattoo

January 16, 2010 by Adam in Adam

After work last night, I scrambled to put together meals for everyone.  Sam, Josh, and Joanna all appeared at 5:30, so I was frantically putting food on the table and getting ready to go.  Getting to the tattoo parlor was almost relaxing in comparison, though Emma entertained us all with her witty dinner conversation.

We went to High Priestess, which is the top tattoo parlor in town.  There's still that certain vibe you get in such a place, and the man behind the counter was entirely covered in tattoos and piercings.  Everyone was quite friendly, with the only snafu of the evening being that the artist who did Sadie had lost the artwork.  Fortunately I'd printed out a picture of Sadie's tattoo moments before leaving, so I could give that to him.

The tattoo itself hurt, but not incredibly so.  It also went a lot faster than I thought it might.  The kids were fascinated, especially Emma, who kept wanting to talk about it when we got home.

As for me, I'm happy with the way it turned out.  After temporary tattoos for months, it's nice to have a real thing on my wrist.

Oh, and the money I used to pay the tattoo artist was from dad's Christmas money.  Thanks, dad!

So I'm Dating Joanna . . .

January 10, 2010 by Adam in Adam

I'm working on getting out the big reveals today, those funny little things that I haven't told people publically yet.  I'm not very good with secrets and I live my life pretty openly, as people with blogs often do.  Last night after Avatar I was texting a note to Joanna when my mom and Sam sat down next to me.  My mom made a comment to Sam about how cute it was I had a girlfriend, to which I replied "Uh, I haven't actually told him yet." 

Fortunately everything seems to be working out for the best.  Sam and I had a good chat last night and he took the opportunity to make fun of me, so I think we're okay.  Jamie's known for a few weeks, but I had another check in with her last night.  Her preference is to not tell Emma for awhile, which I can understand.  Sam suggested I call Joanna my "friend", complete with the finger quotes and funny emphasis.  It's hard not to see the humor in the situation.

As for me, I find myself surprisingly happy.  Joanna and I have been friends for some time, meeting in the gym after my marriage fell apart and I was blabbing away to everyone.  She's in the process of getting divorced as well, so we talked about that and discovered we had a lot in common beyond our situations.  She was my swing dance partner for a month, and eventually we decided to move beyond friendship.

I'm usually asked about Joanna and her life at this point, so here's the quick synopsis.  She's originaly from England, moving away when she was ten to Barbados, and Florida at fourteen.  A writer by trade, Joann works for the Foundation in my building.  She lives with her mom, who's French, a four year-old son named Duncan, and a two year-old daughter named Berry.  Like me, her spouse still lives with her, leading to all manner of zany hijinks.  We have a pool going to see which of our spouses will move out first.

I realize that our lives are complicated, and we're in the middle of major transitions.  We've been seeing a counselor to make sure we're doing healthy things and being mindful of the people around us.  I also know this isn't a rebound relationship or anything frivilous, so it feels good to talk about her openly.  I'd like people to get used to Joanna's presence in my life.

The only other big reveal is that I've started going to church on Sundays.  It's the Unity church, which is low-key and uplifting.  It's odd in some ways, being a scientist at heart and going to a place that talks about God.  Fortunately I like the particular style of this church, which is somewhat non-traditional and is more towards the philosophical end of spirituality.  It's a good place to think about big issues.  Sometimes I substitute "the universe" in my head when they talk about God, which works pretty well for me.  I assured Sam he didn't have to go, though he did have some questions for me that I need to get back to some day.  I should ask Dave his thoughts on going to church as well, as it seems a similar situation in some regards.

Speaking of which, I better clean the kitchen and head off to church.  So much for doing some food shopping while Jamie has the kids this morning.

Since Joanna is a blogger and self-proclaimed "geeky nature girl", you can read more about her on her site.